Ed Sheeran: "I want the whole stadium to be quiet. If someone talks just lightly stroke their face."
Niall: "I want everybody to stand. If they tell you to sit down tell them to shutup."
mobble: my friend and i found some temple run fanfiction yesterday
phistbump: i actually make myself laugh really hard so if no one else laughs it doesnt matter because i already made the most important person in the room laugh
kanyes: I’ve been laughing at this for 8465312 years
hungarian: today in class someone sneezed & my teacher told them to shut up
punkasslouis: zayn malik isn’t the most attractive member of one direction he’s the most attractive member of the human race
thatfunnyblog: oh my god you guys Cole Sprouse has an instagram but for the purpose of taking pictures of people trying to take pictures of him Funny Stuff you like?
Me: *Doesn't party*
Me: *Doesn't drink*
Me: *Doesn't sleep around*
Me: *Doesn't get knocked up*
Me: *Stays up past 1 AM; Maybe goes downstairs to make a sandwich or something*
Parents: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU UP SO LATE DID WE TEACH YOU NOTHING WHERE DID WE GO WRONG YOU'VE WOKEN UP THE WHOLE HOUSE YOU HIDEOUS DEVIL CHILD YOU'RE DESTROYING THIS FAMILY.
1612th: it makes me so uncomfortable when people swear at their parents like i would get straight up beaten if i told my mom to shut the fuck up
4-2 OTTAWA!!!!!!! THAT'S HOW YOU START OFF A...
mostlygreenday: your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone
His pointer finger circled my puckered love cave. “Are you ready for this?” he...– 50 Shades of Grey (via kaley)
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: joelbyeman: I feel like people in horror movies live in an alternate universe where there are no horror movies That explains a lot
nothingcorporate: opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant